Thursday, July 5, 2007

the myth of mommy guilt

everywhere i go online i see postings or articles about "mommy guilt" and why we shouldn't feel guilty about the choices we make for our kids.

it's all nice and sweet and leans towards patting everyone on their back about what a great mommy they are. well i'd like to challenge this whole notion of "mommy guilt".

if your kid is watching 4 hours of tv a day - then you SHOULD feel guilty. it doesn't make you a terrible mom but you should address the TV issue.

if you feed your kid mcdonalds 3 times a week then you should feel guilty. and stop taking them to mcdonalds!

as a personal example, last week i put kalden (my 4 month old) in his carseat and placed him on a stool. the whole thing toppled over and kalden fell. it was horrible and horrifying and thankfully he was fine but it was MY mistake and i felt guilty about it. and that's OKAY.

i will be more careful next time.

so i'm not a big fan of the sentiments that tell us that all out kids will end up the "same" by high school and to stop feeling guilty for the choices we make now when they're little. only YOU can take responsibility for your choices and so you as a parent should make them carefully. we all make mistakes. it's part of being human. but the whole "say no to mommy guilt" trend is just a cop out to make us all feel better about those bad choices and it gives us an excuse to keep making them.

i support making informed choices and learning about what it best for your own family. then stand by those decisions. and if you made a mistake, then feel a bit guilty and move on. it's FINE.


naginata said...

yay! A plea for people to use common sense and take responsibility for their choices! What a radical idea! ;)
Seriously, it's amazing to me what people can rationalize in their daily lives. Myself included. Sometimes a little guilt is GOOD for you. :)

Rebs said...

I did the same thing with my daughter - she tumbled (in her carseat) off of the counter at the gas station. She survived and so did I. She's going to fall and sometimes it's going to be preventable and sometimes not. I would be doing her no favors if I coddled her.